Embrace Your Wickedness

It has been said that in order to truly know something, one must know the opposite. To know love we must experience apathy; to know light we must also know the dark. Slowly I am starting to accept this.

For the longest time I thought it best to deny the parts of myself that I despised. I thought if I just kept thinking positively and love, love, love that all the ugliness would drop away.

It did not.

I love myself for my capacity for compassion and I dislike that I can be so judgemental sometimes...that I can be so easily disgusted by another person who, like all of us, wants only to be loved. Why does that happen? How come I can be so full of love, kindness & compassion for someone in one moment and then totally turned off and holier-than-thou the next?

The truth is that anyone who shows up in my life, anyone, is there to teach me something about myself. If you see it in another, it most certainly exists in you. And as my friend pointed out to me recently, your wicked side serves you. The judgements I have about others allow me to sort through what I want and what I do not. I believe the point here is to bring these dark thoughts and feelings closer to the light. Allow this wickedness to soften and to serve you in a loving way.

So instead of, in my case, judging and then feeling guilt about the judgement, I can recognize the feeling for what is. It is fear. I can ask my inner guide "What is this fear trying to show me? Why is this feeling appearing now?" The more I ask these questions, the better I become at learning the lessons....the better I know myself.

There is so much to love about you. You are a perfect package growing and changing into your truest self. We must not deny any parts of ourselves for they all make up who we are. Take it all, the light and the dark and know that you are whole. You are beautiful. You are loved.