One True Version

I am many different things to many different people. I am a mother, wife, sister, daughter, friend, co-worker, neighbour etc. These labels used to define my behaviour. The sister spoke differently than the friend...the wife unlike the co-worker. I adapted to my company and my environment. There was no one true version of myself that I presented to the world. I acted as various pieces of a puzzle to hide my real nature. It was hidden even from myself.

Fear. Fear held me back from being myself. No one could possibly love the real me! I decided just to be who I thought I needed to be in the moment. Be funny with the guys, overly-concerned with the girls, witty & gossipy with the co-workers... I ended up looking the fool time and time again...to myself at least. If never felt good. It never felt true.

And yet now I have slipped into my skin. I have wrapped myself in truth. It is comfortable here. I love myself. So how did I get here? How did I find the courage to gather up all the loose ends and tie them into me? Practice. Practice of telling the truth...of forgiveness...of self-love...of reflection...of compassion. It is by far the hardest work I have ever done. And I'm not done yet.

I still slip up. I sugar-coat to avoid conflict...I make an excuse to avoid a slight. I am so conscious of this now though! I know I do it and why. So I do not worry. These mistakes will be made less and less. It's part of my growth and my journey. The intention though, the intention is one true version of me and I truly believe it is the intention that counts.

More and more I show who I truly am without fear. I love who I am, faults and all. It's all me. It's all good.